


Good Enough

by Tothebarricades1832



Series: Dean/Castiel [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 10:56:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4874131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tothebarricades1832/pseuds/Tothebarricades1832
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Nice place you’ve got here, boys” a man’s gruff voice called out.  Sam and Dean’s head snapped up while Castiel and Gabriel looked up in confusion.  Castiel could feel Dean sit up straighter besides him and he looked at him with concern.  Dean’s eyes were hard, his face void of all emotion.  Gabriel looked at Sam and noticed that the younger Winchester’s eyes were wide with fear. He reached out and placed a calming hand on Sam’s leg.  Castiel turned away from Dean and looked back at the man, blue eyes narrowing in concentration before he stood and walked over to the man.<br/>        	“You’re John Winchester, Dean and Sam’s father” Castiel noted.  John looked at the angel and Castiel could have sworn that John’s eyes flashed with malice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Enough

In Lawrence, Kansas, in an underground bunker, two young men were sitting down at a long dining room table made for nine.  By their sides sat two angels: one with dark hair, piercing blue eyes and a gentle smile on it’s face while the other had golden blond hair, whiskey eyes and a mischievous smirk on it’s face.  The man sitting next to the angel with blue eyes was named Dean Winchester.  Dean had candy-apple green eyes, freckles dotting his entire face, and wind-tossed sandy blond hair.  He and the angel, whose name was Castiel, were discussing on what to do with their “adoptive daughter” Claire.  Castiel and Dean were not married, of course, they just took care of her like normal fathers would; they cared for her and loved her.  Claire was a young teenager with blonde hair like Dean and soft blue-gray eyes.  No matter what Dean and Castiel said about how Claire was adopted, no one really believed them, because Claire had too much of both Dean’s and Castiel’s personality to be adopted.  Hence saying that, Dean and Castiel were discussing how to deal with her.  She was in her room right now, being extremely temperamental, but Castiel or Dean didn't blame her.  Today was the anniversary of the day she lost her dad years ago to a house fire. She ran away after her mother dumped her off at an orphanage and fortunately for her, Dean and Castiel found her and took her in.  But now she was holed up in her room, crying her eyes out.  Both Dean and Castiel tried to talk to her, but she screamed at them to leave her alone, so now here they were, quietly discussing if they should do something to cheer her up or to just let her solve things out for herself.  The other human and angel pair was Dean’s younger brother Sam Winchester and Castiel’s older brother, Gabriel.  Those two were searching through newspapers and internet sights, looking for a new case for the four of them to take on.  As they were working, they did not hear the bunker door creak open and heavy foot steps descended the stairs.

            “Nice place you’ve got here, boys” a man’s gruff voice called out.  Sam and Dean’s head snapped up while Castiel and Gabriel looked up in confusion.  Castiel could feel Dean sit up straighter besides him and he looked at him with concern.  Dean’s eyes were hard, his face void of all emotion.  Gabriel looked at Sam and saw that the younger Winchester’s eyes were wide with fear and Gabriel reached out and placed a calming hand on Sam’s leg.  Castiel turned away from Dean and looked back at the man, blue eyes narrowing in concentration before he stood and walked over to the man.

            “You’re John Winchester, Dean and Sam’s father” Castiel noted.  John looked at the angel and Castiel could have sworn that John’s eyes flashed with malice.

            “Yes, I am their father.  And you are?” John asked, tilting his head slightly to the side.  Castiel lifted his chin slightly.

            “My name is Castiel and I am an angel of the Lord.  I am the one who gripped your son tight and raised him from perdition.”  John smiled and Castiel felt a chill run down his back.  He tried to ignore the feeling, because this was Sam and Dean’s father.  He could not have been as bad as Dean had described him to be.

            “It is very nice to meet you, sir” Castiel said.  John nodded and smiled, almost chesirely.

            “Same goes to you” he said and before Castiel could respond, John Winchester had pulled out an angel blade and took a swift step forward, thrusting the blade into Castiel’s gut. Castiel let out a strangled cry, which had Dean up and out of his seat in a blink of an eye.

            “Cas!” Dean shouted as he rushed over to the angel.  He ran up behind Castiel, pulled him flush against his chest and pressed his hand against the stab wound, glaring at his father all the while. Castiel sagged against Dean, resting his head underneath Dean's chin. Sam and Gabriel were on their feet too, but Sam was just barely holding Gabriel back from killing John.

            **“SAMUEL WINCHESTER, YOU LET ME GO THIS INSTANT** **”** Gabriel boomed, six golden wings exploding from his back.  Sam was just barely holding on to him, long arms wrapped around the archangel’s waist.

            “NO, Gabe, I’m not letting you hurt my dad!” Sam exclaimed.  Gabriel snarled, and his whiskey eyes were ablaze with rage.

            **“BUT HE HURT CASTIEL!** **”** Gabriel roared, the entire bunker shaking with Gabriel’s rage.  Sam buried his face in Gabriel’s hair and squeezed him a little tighter.

            “I don’t care, I’m still not letting you smite my dad” Sam muttered into the archangel’s hair.  Gabriel snarled and pulled his wings against his back, but the fire never left his eyes.

            **“AT LEAST LET ME TEND TO MY BROTHER** **”** he begged. 

            “But…”

            “ **SAM!** **”** Gabriel roared.  Sam sighed in defeat and removed his arms from around Gabriel’s waist but quickly grabbed his wrist before he walked of.

            “Remember, only heal Castiel.  Don’t touch my dad.”  Gabriel’s eyes were still ablaze but he nodded in a promise.  Sam nodded back before he released him.  Gabriel gave John a side eye death glare before he ran over to Castiel and Dean, who still had his hand pressed against Castiel’s stomach.  Castiel might still be an angel, but his grace was too weak to heal himself.  Dean looked at Gabriel with pleading in his eyes as Gabriel removed Dean’s hand from Castiel’s wound.  Castiel tried to protest and push away Gabriel’s hand but Gabriel just glared at him.

            **“DON** **’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, CASTIEL** **”** Gabriel growled, as he placed his own palm on his brother’s stomach.  Gabriel’s palm glowed with golden grace and Castiel whimpered softly as he felt his body stitch itself back together and Dean rubbed Castiel’s trench-coated arm in comfort.  Just as Castiel was going to thank his brother he saw John sneak up on him, angel blade raised.

            **“GABRIEL!** **”** Castiel screamed.  Gabriel turned around swiftly and before John could plunge the blade into Gabriel’s body, Sam had tackled HIS OWN FATHER with a loud roar.  Dean clutched Castiel close to his chest as he watched his little brother take down his father.  Sam’s hazel eyes were filled with rage and ripped the blade out of his father’s hand.

            “Not my angel…you bitch” he spat, before he did something no one ever expect Sam Winchester to do: he drew his fist back and punched his father in the face before pushing himself off of John and walked over to Gabriel.  He grabbed the archangel by his arms and gave him a once over.

            “Are you alright?”  Gabriel’s eyes were wide but they were full of relief.

            “Yeah…Yeah I’m good Sammich.”  Sam let out a sigh of relief before he pulled Gabriel into a crushing hug. 

            “What the hell is this?” John snapped, standing to his feet as he pinched his nose.  Sam pulled Gabriel against him, almost shielding him from John while Dean kept his arms around Castiel.  Dean glowered at his father and barred his teeth.

            “What is what, Dad?” he growled, spitting out the word like it was poison.

            “What was the rule that I taught you boys when you were younger when we were dealing with supernatural beings?” he demanded.  Sam and Dean looked down at the floor, neither one of them saying anything.

            “Stab first, talk later” Sam murmured, not even glancing at his father.  John nodded, proud that at least one of his son’s remembered.

            “Then explain to me why these angel’s aren’t on the ground, covered in stab wounds?  Dean, you of all people should know what to do by now” John chastised.  Dean said nothing and just clutched Castiel closer to him as the angel gripped Dean’s flannel, blue eyes wide in fear.  John tsked and shook his head.

            “You disappoint me, Dean.  You never could do anything right.”  Sam growled and removed his arms from around Gabriel and took a step towards his father.

            “No.  Shut up.  You don’t get to say that about Dean.”  John turned towards his younger son and saw that Sam was trembling with anger.

            “You don’t get to say that about Dean, and you won’t get to say it about me” he snapped.  John raised an eyebrow, and so did Dean, Castiel and Gabriel.  They never knew Sam could be this angry before.

            “Dean’s done everything right!  He quit school to take care of me when you left, he took on multiple jobs just to make ends meet, he’s done everything in his power to be JUST LIKE YOU, Dad.  So, like I said, **you** **’re. not. allowed. to. say. that. about. Dean.** ”  And with that, Sam grabbed the angel blade from Gabriel’s hand, threw it at John’s feet where it stuck into the hardwood floor before he grabbed Gabriel's hand and dragged him out of the room.  Gabriel looked back at Castiel and Dean and gave them a apologetic smile before his gaze turned to John.  Dean and Castiel swore Gabriel's eyes flashed dangerously at the older gentleman before the archangel followed Sam out of the room.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Dean, Castiel, and John remained silent after Sam’s outburst before Castiel turned to Dean.

            “Dean, this is between you and your father.  I have no right to be here” Castiel muttered under his breath.  Dean looked down at Castiel and shook his head.

            “No Cas, you can stay.  Anything I say to him I can say in front of you” Dean protested.  Castiel shook his head and removed Dean’s arms from around him.

            “Dean” Castiel said, voice stern.  Dean sighed.

            “This is between you and your father.  I have no right to be here” Castiel reiterated, the last sentence slow and enunciated.  Before Dean could protest again, Castiel had already walked towards the door, pulled it open with a wave of his hand, walked through and slammed it shut behind him.  Now Dean and John were left alone, the two hunters staring at each other.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Dean and John continued to stare at each other till John broke the silence.

            “Sam throwing a tantrum, you two harboring angels….what is this world coming too?” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

            “Why did you come back?” Dean suddenly asked, ignoring John’s first comment.  John looked at Dean and smiled.

            “To check up on the both of you….”

            “That is complete and utter bullcrap” Dean snapped.

            “You left Dad.  You left years ago on what you said was a hunting trip and you never returned.  Guess who had to take care of Sam when you left?  Me.   Guess who had to learn how to say Latin incantations to exorcise demons out of people?  Me and Sam.  Guess who had to teach Sam the ropes of being a hunter and pulling him out of school even though I knew full well that he wanted to be a lawyer and go to Stanford?  Me.”  After every “Me” Dean’s voice got heavier and heavier with unshed tears that he was desperately keeping in.  He took a breath before continuing while John just watched his youngest son break down in front of him.

            “Guess who took care of us when YOU died?  Bobby.  And when Bobby got sick and then died, who would look after us then?  No one.  We were on our own.  And it was back to me trying to keep Sammy safe…” he said as hot tears streamed down his face.  He shook his head, hating the feeling of being weak in front of his father.

 

_I gave you all of me_

_But it still ain't enough to make you happy_

_I gave you everything_

_It still don't measure up_

He cleared his throat and wiped away his tears.  But they continued to fall down his face and this time he didn’t bother to wipe them away.

 

_It feels like I walked 5 thousand miles_

_And didn't even come close_

_Feels like I try to make you smile_

_But you don't even care, no_

John opened his mouth, was about to protest when Dean, his twenty-three year old son, looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes and he instantly shut his mouth.  Dean sniffled, feeling like his five year old self as he was getting yelled at.

 

_I'll never be big enough to pay your dues_

_But i keep trying_

Dean gritted his teeth, the hot tears still coming down fast on his face.

 

            _And you just keep on making me jump through hoops_

_What do I got to do?_

John only crossed his arms and remained silent, while Dean drew up to his full height and harder his eyes.

           

_I just want you to look at me_

_And see that I can be what you love_

_I just want you to look at me_

_And see that I can be_

_Good enough, good enough_

_Good enough_

_And see that i can be_

_Good enough, good enough_

_Good enough_

John huffed, a small breath of a laugh coming out of his mouth.

            “You’re a decent hunter Dean, I won’t deny that.  But you’re not good enough that you’ll steel yourself into becoming emotionless, not letting anything get to you.  Not letting anything become personal.”  Dean’s green eyes burned with anger.

            “That is a load of bullshit!” he shouted, making John flinch in surprise.

            “When you left to go catch the demon that took mom away from us, that was FUCKING PERSONAL!” he exclaimed, voice raising with every word.  He shook his head, trembling with rage as tears still slipped down his face.

_I try to show you that I'm strong_

_Why do I even bother?_

He glared at John, green eyes aflame.

 

_Cause it's the same old damn song_

_And you call yourself a father_

Dean glanced towards the ceiling and let out a small sigh.

 

_Feels like I'm reaching for the stars_

_But heaven isn't letting me_

_I wish that I had longer arms_

_But I know that will never be never be_

Dean looked back at John and his eyes hardened as he wiped them with the back of his sleeve. 

 

_I'll never be big enough to pay your dues_

_But I keep trying_

He took a step towards John and felt something stir inside of him.  He felt the darkness of the demon that he and Cas desperately tried to contain, the rage that his father brought him every time John ridiculed him, and the disappointment of his entire life well up till it was close to almost bursting.  John held his ground and looked into his son’s eyes until they were nose to nose, facing off.  Dean snarled.

 

_And you just keep on making me jump through hoops_

_What do I got to do?_

John raised his chin and smirked at Dean, which just made Dean's anger spike even more.  He grabbed John by the collar of his leather jacket and slightly shook him.

 

_I just want you to look at me_

_And see that I can be what you love_

_I just want you to look at me_

_And see that I can be_

_Good enough, good enough_

_Good enough_

_And see that I can be_

_Good enough, good enough_

_Good enough_

Dean shoved John away from him and started pacing around the room, breathing heavily and eyeing John from the corner of his eye every now and then.  He could feel the demon raging inside of him, eager to break free and explode.  Dean gritted his teeth and shook his head.  No, no, he would not succumb to the darkness boiling inside him.  He faced John and snarled.

 

_I'm standing right here waiting for you here I am_

He motioned to his body then stared straight into John’s eyes, his own eyes being met with the same hard stare.  John reached down and picked up the angel blade from the floorboard and spun it in his hand.  Dean eyed the blade cautiously, he didn’t know what his dad was planning to do with it.

 

_Looking for your acceptance do you give a damn_

John barked out a laugh.

            “Do I give a damn?  That’s the funniest thing someone has ever asked me.  I stopped giving a damn years ago” John sneered.  Dean clenched his hands in and out of a fist before taking a deep breath.

_See it doesn't matter what you think I'm still a man_

Dean sucked in another deep breath, desperately trying to control the demon that urged to break free and destroy the man before him.  He looked at his father, the man that he adored and looked up to when he was younger, and pleaded with him.

 

_Open up your eyes, can't you see that I'm good enough_

John scoffed.

            “You will never be good enough.  Ever.  Why don’t you get that through your sorry little head, that you will NEVER. BE. GOOD. ENOUGH” he snarled.  That’s when Dean snapped.  He had had enough.  He had put up with this bullshit for years and now?  Now he was sick and tired of it.  No one was going to push him around anymore, telling him that he was a piece of shit and that all he was good for was being a pretty face.  He was sick and tired of it.  He was DONE.  Dean could feel tears prickle at his eyes but he steeled himself, staring his father straight in the eyes.

 

_I just want you to look at me_

_Look at me_

_I just want you to look at me_

_And see that I can be_

_Good enough, good enough_

_Good enough_

_I just wanna be, yeah_

_Good enough, good enough_

_Good enough_

_~*~*~*~*~_

When he was done, he let the tears stream down his cheeks, showing his dad that he wasn’t ashamed to cry, because real men let their emotions show instead of bottling them inside (of course he did this a lot, but this time, this situation called for emotions to be shown).  John spun the blade in his hand, tucked it into his jeans pocket, before slowly clapping.  Dean’s eyes widened.

            “Never knew demons could have these kind of emotions before” John sneered.  Dean’s eyes widened.

            “Dad, what—”  John pulled out the angel blade.

            “Sorry son” he said before he threw the blade towards Dean’s heart.  Dean side-stepped to the left, letting the blade get lodged in the bunker wall.  Dean looked at the blade with confusion before he turned back to his dad.

            “Dad, what the hel—” he started but before he could even finish, John had pulled a gun on him, pointing the barrel at his forehead.  When Dean got a good look at his dad, he saw that his pupils were glassy, almost as if he was possessed by something.  Dean's eyes flicked from green to black, ready to protect himself with his powers if he needed to.  And he really hoped he wouldn’t need to.  John smiled wickedly.

            “There you are” he almost purred, making Dean’s skin crawl.  John cocked the gun.

            “There you are, you wife-murdering son of a BITCH!” he screamed, pulling the trigger.  Before the bullet can even get out of the barrel, another shot rings out through the bunker and Dean doesn’t even have time to think before he sees the gun his father was holding a few seconds ago go flying through the air and land a few feet away from them.  He turned to see his daughter Claire, Castiel, Sam and Gabriel all standing in the doorway, a gun in Claire’s hands.

            “Get the hell away from my dad!” she screamed, pointing the gun at John.  John Winchester blinked, shook his head, then took a step away from Dean, who looked like he had just seen something worse than a ghost.  Claire took a step towards John, gun still pointed at him.

            “Get out.  Get out of my home.  Get away from my dad.  Get away from my family.  And don’t ever come back” she growled.  John looked at Claire, who motioned with her gun to the bunker door, then looked over her shoulder at Castiel and Gabriel, who were glaring at him, wings fully spread with grace surrounding them, then finally looked at Sam, who was staring back at him, eyes full of betrayal.  John took a shuddering breath before heading to the stairs, walked up them, opened the door, then left without another word.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Dean swayed on his feet, almost feeling like he was going to collapse.  Claire turned to Castiel and handed him the gun before running to engulf Dean in a hug.

            “Dad!” she exclaimed as she hugged him tightly.  Dean blinked before he slowly wrapped his arm around Claire and held her close.

            “You were so brave, baby” he whispered as he squeezed her gently.  Claire sniffled.

            “I wasn’t planning on losing another dad today” she whispered back.  Dean crackd a small smile before he looked up when he heard a soft clearing of throats.  Castiel was standing in front of him, wings folded against his back, a concerned smile on his face.

            “Are you alright?” the angel asked.  Dean nodded and held out one arm to Castiel.  Castiel smile widened as he walked into the hug and felt Dean squeeze him as well.  Gabriel and Sam watched as the family hugged, small smiles on their faces as they had their arms wrapped around each other as well.

            “Now I am” Dean replied.  Castiel chuckled and pressed a small kiss to Dean’s cheek.

            “Don’t worry Dean” he murmured lovingly.

            “You’ll always be good enough for me.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this story was beta'd by my very best friend, Tothebarricades1832. I really hope you all enjoy this fanfiction.
> 
> As always, leave comments, kudos, subscribe, and bookmark!


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